December 30, 2018

Mushroom turned to Rabbit with one raised eyebrow, “I suspect my friend, that what he is telling you is a jovial falsehood.”

Rabbit looked confused.

“He’s having you on.” Explained Mushroom.

“Why would he lie about it? What would be the point?”

“My dear friend, worms cannot be trusted.”

“Why’s that?...

August 14, 2018

Published by Tulpa Magazine

Bob was a goldfish. He lived in a fancy house with all the fancy trimmings – coloured pebbles, a deep-sea diver blowing bubbles and an ocean view. Bob was happy. Until he was not. Staring into the world beyond had Bob thinking about the meaning of life. Enter existential c...

May 30, 2018

sit perfectly still 

wait
wait some more
(stop blinking so much!)
keep waiting
the sun will coat the spider's web in a honey-like warmth that a Sprite cannot resist
(seriously it's like crack to them) 
you'll see the web stir
and the gold start to disappear...
now! get it! 
I mean grab it! 
like with...

November 21, 2017

I once knew a girl who was terribly bored and began to eat other people's yawns. She maintained a varied diet, consuming yawns from checkout chicks to teachers, truck drivers to accountants. The yawns of teenage girls were her favourite though as they had a certain zing to them. A sharp zest of...

October 13, 2017

Miranda sat at her desk, staring at the computer screen until the neatly plotted data became an ugly mess of Excel misery. Remnants of the morning's toasted ham and cheese croissant found their way to the slump in her skirt. It was tempting to scoop them up for a final taste of buttery goodness...

August 15, 2017

Transcript:

They say marriage is between a man and a woman in the eyes of God

But what about those who don't believe in the sod?

Us atheists are free to have a husband or wife

And what about the couples who can't bring fourth new life?

See they're always banging on about the need to reproduce

But you can...

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